I did just want to add one more thing to this.
Barbara has been so wonderful, beyond wonderful. She is so caring and really put herself out. When this show aired I was a really true believer. I had been abused by my parents who were quasi JW's and I rationalized that no one knew because it all happened behind closed doors.
The night this Dateline aired I had been having issues with my elders about my needing to take care of my parents and I had mentioned that I had been abused by them. Little did I know that I was touching the tip of an iceberg. I was finding it hard that my elders seemed to be siding with my parents, I was so hurt and confused. Here I was an elder's wife, pioneer, been to Bethel, etc and yet I was not being believed.
When this show aired we did not have even a computer in our home. This is so long ago now but it seems just like yesterday. I went to the local library which has free computers to use. I looked up silent lambs. I was shaking so hard and so afraid that someone would see what I was doing in such a public place. Man that seems so long ago now. I was shocked by what I saw. Just writing this is making me cry, I was so scared and hurt at that time it was unreal.
My mom died in 2003 and my dad in 2005. They were the worst years of my life in some ways,but I was still a very hurt but devout JW even though my elder husband and I switched halls largely due to how hurtful the elders had been to me over my parents. Finally in 2007 we had a pedophile move into the hall we were attending. I could no longer hide from myself that my case was just a fluke.
I wanted to get a hold of Barbara but did not know how. We had finally gotten a computer in 07 and I knew nothing about how to really use them. I somehow contacted Bill Bowen. He was so rude to me and hurtful. I had asked for help to get a hold of Barbara and he just went off to me in an email. Bill pushed me right back into the JW's.
It took me another two years to figure out how to reach Barbara. She has been so kind and wonderful.
The last thing someone needs who has been sexually abused is to be talked down to and belittled. It's just been such a hard road. I thought I had made some friends here who were ex JW's. They had not been sexually abused they left over the 587, 607 thing.
It is like we came from two different worlds, all they wanted to do was talk about 587 for hours and hours and hours and send me tons of prints outs on it. All I wanted to do was talk about the pedophiles and how unjust it is being handled.
Everyone leaves for different reasons and different hurts. Bill Bowen I just do not understand, even now thinking back to that email he sent it still makes my stomach flip. It took me so much courage just to contact him through silent lambs and for him to get so angry with me? I wish I had printed it out to keep but we did not even have a printer at the time and that email is lost.
I am just so glad that there are kind ones out there like Barbara. Because I know only two well how hurtful words can drive someone right back into the arms of the WT.
There is a saying that I just love and it says "people may not remember what you said or did but they will always remember how you made them feel."
LITS